Yesterday, I made a budget with my mom. This my seem like a insignificant thing but it felt like a turning point. And I wonder how much time I'll spend in the next five months wondering why the words excited and terrified seem so intertwined in my mind, like two vines that wrap around each other because there's nothing else around.
I once described my family as made up of tea and hugs and this is not far from true so I wonder how many times in the next five months it will hit me that I won't be within hugging distance come September. But I'm not the only one taking off. Rachel will be in the Outback and Caitlyn will probably be on the move, too, but it's nice to think of us all as boomerangs, or something, flying off only to return again.
The truth is that I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know why I'm removing myself from the mountains I love to go live on a fault line that could go off at any second. I don't know why I'm separating myself from what I'm just getting used to.
I just know that I need to.
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