it's complicated

when I was into boys, just boys,

life was easy.

a series of make believe crushes I convinced myself to have,

so that I could be like the others.

And then a real crush,

a does-he-like-me crush

a fall-asleep-thinking-of-his-face crush.

But he 

just wanted to be friends 

and I

had read enough chapters of He’s Just Not That Into You

sitting in a neglected corner of that bookstore in Seattle

to know that I

deserved someone who wanted me back.

Then I fell

into something new

a pool

of fluidity.

My relationship to my sexuality,

shifting, changing, transforming into something

I still don’t have a label for.

now 'it's complicated'
is the subheading
to my life.