the antidote

I always blamed my bi-annual identity crises on being a middle child but if I'm being honest, I know that wasn't it. Because if you ask me who I am, the first thing I will tell you is my name and the second thing I will say is that I have three sisters.

I have three sisters. And yes, I am a middle child. But I have a feeling that even if I didn't have sisters, I would still have all those issues with my identity. What I wouldn't have is three people who make me feel more like me than anyone else.

Is it weird that I feel like I am more myself around these three weirdos who look nothing like me than when I am alone? I had a friend over today and it's not like I wasn't me when it was just the two of us but it's almost like I was more comfortable in my own skin once I was home with my flesh and blood, a cup of tea in my hand. I feel like you can get to know me better when I'm around them and maybe this isn't entirely true, but it feels like it.

They give me permission to be myself without my having to ask and I am eternally grateful. My sisters and the order of our births are not the source of my perennial identity crisis. They are the antidote.