"nobody likes me but I really like to cry"

Today wasn't a bad day. Not exactly. It was, however, a day when random frustrating moments made me cry. Like having my bus drive away as I stood just a few feet away from the bus stop. Or calling the dentist to book an appointment for my wisdom teeth extraction, something I'm really not excited about, and having the receptionist tell me there is nothing available until May 17th.*

(on a side, you think I would be happy about this because it just gets put farther off and it's not like I'm stoked to have my mouth anesthetized and cut open but I was displeased for two reasons: a) I'm turning nineteen on May 10th and will no longer be covered by insurance for such tooth extractions and b) I really should have booked this appointment two weeks ago after my consultation like my mom asked me to.)

So I cried. I also realized I haven't cried in a while. That's one of the weird things about me and crying. I feel like I go through phases wherein I either cry every day or I don't cry at all. We'll see how the next week goes.

The thing is, though, I don't see crying as an inherently bad thing. I know my mom hates it, and it's not like it's a super attractive thing but I generally feel better after. I've read articles about how crying releases mood leveling hormones and blah blah blah. While this may or may not be true, I just feel better afterwards. Is that weird? Probably. Yet there's something so relieving about letting go, whether it's in the form of a couple tears or a minor sob fest on your bed, after which you can wipe off any smudged eyeliner and get on with your life.

*She has since called back with an appointment for me. April 30th. Strangely, I think this is the one year anniversary of my first experience with wisdom tooth extraction. What a great way to celebrate a horrible experience!

***blog title quote from The Con by Tegan and Sara***