Friday, April 12, 2013

on writing & performing poetry

I don't know when it started.* Honestly, I used to think poetry was pretentious and complicated. It can definitely be the former. Also, the later. But I didn't see the good parts of pretentious and complicated, at that time, only the bad.

I think I was fifteen when I attended my first poetry slam. Maybe fourteen. In any case, it completely blew me away. I don't remember the poets. Except there was this one guy named Byron. I do remember walking away thinking that I wanted to do that, to be one of those poets.

And it took a few years. Three. But I eventually got up there and, in front of a microphone and a room of people, performed words that I had written. And won the slam, but that's beside the point ;)

I spoke my poems aloud to myself as I walked to the slam. My pace was quick so I could avoid the feeling of being about to collapse. Even at the slam, I couldn't pay attention to anyone else because my poems were just playing over and over in my head, the words taking over and forcing me into a trance of nervousness and excitement.

Performing is a rush. There's not a whole lot of ways to describe it but it's kind of like being mentally chased by a dog on your bicycle. Your heart races and your stomach clenches up and you feel like you might die while at the same time feeling like you've never been this alive.

I've gotten a tad bit addicted to the feeling. And I'm getting my next hit this Sunday. Here's to hoping I don't actually die.

*I also don't know how many blog posts I've started with the words, "I don't know," but I would wager that it's a few.

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