Vita, my darling buddy, I enjoyed your blog where you took questions from crazythoughts.com (awesome website) and answered them, so I am doing the same! Yay. Here are the soothing answers to your burning questions...
Do the English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins? For this question, I have a question: in other countries, do Canadians/Americans have a food? Is it McDonald's because that's just sad. Anyway to answer the first question English people don't eat English muffins. They're way to awesome for that.
In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end? Publishers are very smart people. They realize that not everyone is going to like or agree with the end of a book. So they leave you some blank pages so you can write your own ending. Either that or it's incase the author changes they mind about the end of the both and decides to rewrite it.
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning? I have lots of theories about this. You see, humans are naturally competetive. Everyone suffers from this on a scale, some have extreme competetivness others suffer minimally. When we are losing at Monopoly, or Chinese checkers or Sorry (which by the way is a huge oxy-moron), we naturally want to tell ourselves it's not really that bad, sure we're losing, but this has nothing to do with anything, it's just a game. As opposed to accepting the fact that it sucks and you feel really bad at losing. This is also a tactic to try and bring down the winner. By saying "it's only a game", you're telling the winner that it doesn't really matter that they're doing better than you, in the end it doesn't mean anything. Humans are highly capable at lying to ourselves to feel better.
Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground? We are sadists who revel in the fact that the baby may dream of crashing to the ground from great heights.
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. Not regular rabits, no. But Easter rabbits are actually magical creatures, and magical creatures do not listen to the regular rules of life. East bunnies do whatever they want. They hop, they hide your eggs, they eat radioactively large carrots. "Rules are for little people", of which group the abnormally large rabbits of Easter do not adhere to.
At a movie theater which arm rest is yours? Both! If you want the armrest you have to fight for it. Either than or half of each is yours and you should promise to share and be a friend.
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All this talk of things people didn't know too much about until now got me thinking of the Laundry Fairy. I know you've all thought about those socks that go missing in the wash. I'll let you in on a secret: they don't actually go missing; they get stolen. By the Laundry Fairy. The LF is a very mischeivous and devious fairy not unlike the Tooth Fairy, who teaches kids it's okay to sell body parts. The LF also has a knack for strange collections, instead of teeth she collects socks and leaves change at the bottom of your washer. She enjoys seeing the pain of people trying to match socks are realizing that they are missing too many.
I know what you're thinking: I'm doomed! I'm eventually going to lose all of my socks to this crazy fairy. But fear not, reader, there is a way to thwart the LF. You have to wear mis-matched socks. Dobby the House Elf was a very smart guy, and he was in on this trick. If you wear two different socks the fairy will realize that you don't really care if you're missing one, because you will find a way, regardless. Did you hear that LF? I'm on to you! And I'm teaching everyone else how to deal with your annoying ways too! Take that.
Yes I just sent a message to a fairy. Deal with it and move on.
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