Options and Insanity

I started reading Jane Eyre last night. At first I thought my brain was going to explode, and I was sitting there, reading every word at least twice, and still not being able to make sense of them working together as sentences, let alone paragraphs or *gasp* an entire 450 page long novel. It was too much. So I came up with a few possible outcomes for my Jane Eyre reading experience:

1. I could give up while I was ahead. My problem with that option was that was I really ahead if I wasn't making sense of it? And is quitting while you're ahead the best option? Why not pursue whatever you want to quit and then quit when things start to get worse? I don't see the merits of quitting while you're ahead. You might have gone out neatly, but a) life is messy and b) in the end, you still quit where you could have tried. or...
2. I could continue reading. Within this scenario there are two sub-scenarios. The first is that if I perservere and read the words that are not making sense together then I will eventually see the light and leave my state of befuddlement behind or the second (less desirable) option I could eventually lose my sanity* while staring at the page and never truly understand it.

I choose the second option with reservations that if I continued in this state I would look for another option, like an audiobook.

I started reading out loud to myself and luckily the perserverence did not end with my insanity. I realized what was happening in the scene and read a few more chapters. It wasn't what I would call a riveting beginning but it was enough to keep me reading.

On another book reading note I started (and am close to finishing) The Bermudez Triangle last night. The contrast is sharp and startling between my two chosen books at the moment. I seem oddly obsessed with blogging about reading at present. I wonder why that is. Anyway I am thouroughly enjoying The Bermudez Triangle, it's incredibly honest and believable.

**non-exhistant segue**

As a response to a blog I wrote a few days ago called Responding to Insults, I thought up a few more ideas for that particular scenario. I don't know if I would actually be able to fully say these monologues because I might burst out laughing in the middle, but it was entertaining enough to create and imagine in my mind, so I didn't nip it in the bud because of annoying things like reality:

"I can lie: I like your sweater."

"I guess you're missing a filter. But don't feel too bad, or anything, because I hear that there's some people that never fully develop one. You see, it's this part of your brain that, when you're about to say something that could come across as potentially rude, inapropriate, or insulting it says, "hey you might not want to say that because it's kind of spiteful, vindictive and hurtful" and that's the point when you throw away the inclination to say it. I wouldn't worry though, you'll survive without it, the problem is, you might not have many friends. I'd work on practising with the filter thing though."

or option two:

"I can lie: I like your sweater."

"Good one. I could lie about thinking your shirt was nice, but I won't because it might be regarded as mean by some societal codes. I try not to say mean things just for the heck of it, if I can control myself, but I understand that some people aren't as educated in proper social conduct as I am, and I accept that people slip up sometimes. So I won't be too insulted by your attenion seeking comment."

No time to proofread. dftbA.

I'm enjoying these star footnote things. They let me wonder off topic without ruining the flow of the blog.

*Thinking about he lose of sanity really sparked my interest on people we deem to be "insane". I read a book about a kid who got trapped in a pickle barrel (it wasn't about just that, but that's not the point). Anyway while in this barrel this kid, Lief, lost any realization of time or space. He reached a state that I would best describe as enlightened. He didn't need to worry about the future or dwell on past events he just was. He was just happy to be alive and perfectly content doing whatever came next to him. So I was thinking that maybe the people who are "mentally ill" and locked up in asylums and recovery facilities, are really the closests we have (or will) ever seen to enlightenment. Lief was seen as totally crazy by another character, just because he didn't care what happened to him next, he was just content at that moment and that was all that mattered. I dont' really have a conclusion here, but I hope this has given you something to ponder.