a blog about not blogging

The fact that I didn't blog yesterday was decisive and I wanted you to know that. There's this switch in my house, a power bar that controls the wireless router, and about twenty four hours ago, I hovered over it with my finger poses to flick. I remembered that I hadn't blogged and so I took a few steps away, intending to grab my computer from my sister and write something quickly. Then I remembered this post I read of Kayley Hyde's about the downfalls of things like BEDA (and NaNoWrimo, etc.). Contemplating a potential 'this was my day'* post, I hesitated a few seconds longer--in the dark, I will add for a sense of realism--before flicking the power off.

Why? You may ask. You've done BEDA before, as well as NaNo and even ScriptFrenzy. Why break your twenty-four day streak? You could have done it. Well, part of my brain that speaks in italics, I can't say for sure. Maybe the quantity versus quality debate started getting to me. Maybe I was just really tired. Maybe, in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't worth it to me. (If this was a test, I would say it is safe to circle D - All of the above.)

As I was walking home from the library day--when I wasn't street reading my new Nietzche book, that is--I really pondered this whole project. What is the point of disciplined creativity? Is it effective? Is it misleading? Does it help people? I don't have answers but I think it's still good to think about these things, especially those of us who are committing a chunk of time every day to spend on these projects. Obviously, I find some merit in it because this is my third blogging every month endeavor. But, I don't know, why am I really doing this?

Strangely, I don't feel disappointed. It's not like I failed BEDA. I just extended the definition of 'every day.'

*if you're disappointed by the lack of post, here is a sample of what could have been: Today I got up before 8am for the third morning in a row and learned some First Aid. After the course, I got into a semi-argument with the instructor about how she was sexist and possibly a Luddite. Fun times. Sad you missed it? I thought so.