Just don't sing

Two things today. I'm not going to number them, because I want to grant you your proper intelligence. If you can't differentiate the two, specifically separate, things I write about in this blog, you should go back to kindergarten. Or you could try good old fashioned homeschooling. I'm leaning towards option 2.

I got a pirate kite. Actually, I won it. Technically, I didn't play any part in the winning, but still, it's in my possession. And I flew it. Only it didn't really fly. Whenever I stopped running, it plummeted swiftly towards the ground. Maybe pirate ship weren't mean to fly. Or maybe the wind just hates me and wants to mess with my mind.

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Advice: don't ever sing in the shower. Or in the bathroom. Or as you do housework. You will be mocked mercilessly. A sample conversation:

Singer: *singing*

*Singer comes out of the shower.*

(People are sitting at dinner table)

Person 1: Are you okay, Singer?

Singer: Uh... yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?

Person 1: I heard you kind of wailing in the bathroom.

Singer: Oh... *pauses awkwardly and tries to collect self*

Person 1: What were you doing? Were you crying?

Singer: *silently calls Person 1 a mean spirited b**** * No, I wasn't crying. Dinner is great, Person 2.

Person 2: Oh, thanks. Let's talk about the parakeets at the zoo.

*Singer attempts to forget incident ever happened, while also making a note to never sing anywhere again, until completely alone*

I'd like to inform you, Person 1, that there is such a thing as tact that would have prevented this painful conversation and the after effects, and maybe you should try and get some.

This is incredibly sad. Now the only time I'll be able to express myself is when I'm alone. Instead of enjoying the freedom of having access to whatever television channel I want, I'll have to have karaoke sessions just so I can outlet my singing habits.

*This is for the people with low intelligence--I didn't feel like now was the time to give you self esteem issues.