The Hunger Games

So I just returned from seeing The Hunger Games for the second time and I think I'm a little more scarred than I was the first time around. This may be because for this show, I managed to keep my eyes open for pretty much the entire movie. And there was some scary shit that I blocked out at midnight on the 23rd.

My first not midnight, not falling asleep observation is about the shaky camera. This may have been pointed out to me by several sources between my two screenings but I picked up on it tonight and it kind of bothered me. I appreciated the artistic use of it when they were actually in the arena and I felt like it portrayed the hectic, panicky theme quite well (also, the fact that I couldn't tell what kind of violence was going on was nice for me) but, earlier in the movie, it seemed unnecessary. Why, I ask, did we need the shaky cam vibe when Katniss was hunting in the woods with Gale? The woods is the place that Katniss is most comfortable and at ease. The shaky, uncertain footage seemed contradictory to what I know from reading the books--not to go all book elitist but, um, yeah, Katniss in the woods should have been calm and steady.

The other thing that really stood out for me was the violence and it might have been because I'm generally sensitive to that kind of thing or because of the blog post Maggie Stiefvater wrote about it (god, I love Maggie Stiefvater). In her blog post, she talked about how people expressed wishes that it would have been more violent and I was aghast, mostly because that's not what The Hunger Games is about to me. It's not supposed to be some graphically violent portrayal of kids murdering each other. It's about, well, a lot of things, on various levels but to me it's mostly about Katniss, trying to stay alive for her sister. And yes, there's Peeta's qualms about his humanity and that leads Katniss to want to show the Gamemaker's that they don't own her but this is a story about love* and war and the kids affected by it. It's not supposed to be some depiction of gratuitous violence for the sake of it. I thought there was more than enough violence. Maybe it could have been more personal but maybe the point is that it wasn't**.

I'm pleased with The Hunger Games movie. There's not much I would have changed and nothing is really worth mentioning. I'm pretty excited to see what Jennifer Lawrence does with Catching Fire. And now we wait.

p.s. Okay, the real thing on my mind is the cave scene. All I could think about was how dirty Peeta's face was and then after Katniss got him the medicine and they fell asleep together, he woke up and his face was practically clean. I bet the medicine took care of that for him, right? Because it's magical, sexy face medicine. I see what you did there, Gamemakers. I see that.

*coughcough of the sisterly variety. Keep your pants on.
**I've read reviews where people said each tribute death felt like a punch to the gut. I didn't feel that way.

"and I'm only me when I'm with you"

Taylor Swift inspires the most thought provoking Saturday afternoon dish washing moments of all other songwriters. Honestly.

So I'm standing there scrubbing away at a cup measure this afternoon and reevaluating my distaste of the song "I'm Only Me When I'm With You." See My Relationship Progression With This Song:

1. Bobbing along. Oooh, this is kind of catchy.
2. Furrowed brow. Wait a second, this is a dependency song.
3. Slow nodding. Okay, she's talking about her best friend. That's cool, right?
4. Head scratching. Hold on, why is it okay to only be yourself around your best friend but not around a guy? 
5. Quizzical expression. Shame! I know EXACTLY what she's talking about. I'm dependent!
6. Squinty look. But then it is about a guy?
7. Head-desk. I'm so confused. What is my stance?

It recently occurred to me that I don't have to have a ideological "stance" to every song on my iPod but still, I think about these things. And I've made it clear in the past that I don't support the intricacies of Taylor Swift's tendency towards passivity and pining. But this song has shaken it all up by the mere fact that I associate with it so closely.

I know what it's like to feel so close to a person that your empathy transcends almost everything. I've felt like I couldn't be myself when I wasn't around this person/people. I've been a part of something that feels greater than myself, been half of a whole.

What does that say about me and does it even matter? And when you start to realize that a lot of what you thought was silly or wrong or cynical or close-minded, is that called maturity or just life? Seriously, what are the chances I'll look back on this point in time, everything I stand for and believe in, and think, "Wow, I can't believe I thought that. I was so... *insert adjective here*"

*gasp* Am I actually growing as a person?