it kind of rhymes (weird)

I was that girl
to whom texting was incorrigible
until I started texting her.
I was that girl
who scoffed at thumbs on tiny keyboards
until my fingertips drafted messages
to her.
I am that girl
who smiles to herself
when texting is discussed in crowds.
I am that girl
who never thought
she'd be writing texts out loud.
Again and again,
I surprise myself.
It makes me feel quite free,
to still not know just who I am,
or what's left for me to be.

sitting in a treehouse
raindrops caught on leaves and branches
instead of her head.
love spilling from her shirtsleeves,
crammed underneath fingernails
lodged in the space behind her ear,
for a girl who loves comic sans.
the platform is heavy, strained
from the weight of her suppressed expectations
she knows from the dark circles
under her eyes, reflected in the sky
disappointment is the root of most heartache
she's trying to cut it off early,
intercept it like an amateur athlete's pass
rip out nine stitches in her own time
rather than watch them taken
into less gentle hands
waiting for the moment when she can let out
the breath she swore she wouldn't hold.

fractured memories part 3

Remember when we swayed,
eyes open, arms splayed
to the rhythm of our memories.
Fingers combing the air
the way I move my through your hair
not needing to be anywhere
we weren't.
You fixed yourself in the light
spilling from my cracks.
I held you, whispered slowly,
promised to come back

fractured memories part 2

Remember when we sat on my bed
pushing boxes inside our heads
waiting, impatient for the give
ease of tension in the fabric.
Remember when I said that word,
girlfriend
and I watched your body
pour into the air
like cream into coffee.
You let out the breath
you didn't want me to know
you were holding,
hoping,
wishing,
this girl who rejected labels
would exhale those words
in that order.
We were two knots,
unraveling in sync.
But I never let myself think
it would last.

fractured memories part 1

Remember when we would stay,
lay in my bed all damn day,
wrapped up in the soft sounds of the covers,
each other's refusal to make breakfast or lunch,
as long as it meant leaving the warmth.
Who needs dietary sustenance?
We scoffed, all but immortal,
superheroes of our own respect.
Our only real need to make the moment last.
and it lasted, still present tense lasts.

not asking for forever

Girl, sitting in a tree,
writing letters into the bark
she never imagined she'd scrawl:
dp's girlfriend.
Embellishing with a heart,
her pink pen completes the cliche.
No foolish forevers, though.
She only promises the present.

This paper girl, she's perching between branches,
eyes dwelling on the forever sky,
thoughts jumbled and raw,
happiness seeping through the folds
of her flimsy, borrowed body.
Recycled stardust is all she possesses
and she doesn't get to keep it.
Probably wouldn't, if she could.

She lingers longer on forever,
incorrect concept that it is.
Does infinity make right now meaningless?
Or meaningful? She can't tell.

The satisfaction she breathes is foreign.
She'd forgotten how to not want more,
more love, more laughter, more hugs, more kisses.
She doesn't need more now, isn't asking for forever.
For once, she has enough.