Goodbye, I guess

I'm typing this on a computer at the library. I could be at home, but Jane Eyre was overdue (I finished it today! finally...) along with some other stuff and I'd been in the house all day, so I decided a walk to the library would be the perfect solution to my empty Wednesday night.

I've been wanting to write this blog since Friday. On Friday I went to a Harry Potter camp. I'd been to the same campsite two years ago. It was the June before my friend moved away, one of our last camps together before she left. We had a lot of fun at the camp two years ago and on Sunday it was her dad that drove us home. Me and my two best friends at the time, Victoria and Denise.

The trip home was just about as fun as the camp itself. We chatted about everything that had happened at camp, earning the irritation of our driver, who was racing down the roads at an incredibly fun speed, however illegal it may have been. I remember having so much fun that day as Richard (Denise's step-dad) sped down the country roads bouncing over bumps and laughing with my friends. A really great adventure.

Two years later, it seems so far away, and even brings tears to my eyes (cliche and sad, maybe, but true). So much has changed since then. Denise moved four hours away; Victoria and I have slowly drifted apart; and then a few months ago I received the news that Richard had died. Gone forever.

It's weird how hard it was the write that. I didn't know him that well, but he's the first person I have really known that's ever died. I cried when I heard, but not really because I was sad he was gone. That sounds bad. What I mean was I was more sad for Denise, her mom and her younger brother. I can't even imagine how hard it is for them.

Death is weird. I've remarked on this before while blogging, but you think you understand something, and then you actually experience it and you realize you didn't know anything about it before. It's one thing when your pet gerbil dies, but to have it wash over you that you're never going to see a person again, never going to hear their voice or touch them, is horrifying.

This blog was deeper and more serious than most. I don't know why I'm pointing that out, you probably realizes it on your own you brilliant reader. I hope I haven't scared you off. Until next time...

A note to Richard, who won't ever read this, but still:
I didn't know you very well. I didn't even like you that much. I'm sorry your were so unhappy. I'm sorry that you had to leave. I'm not apologizing, mostly just sympathizing I guess. You were a really good person, even if you were annoying at times. I don't know where you are now, if you're anywhere at all, but I hope it's better there than it was here, even if nothing is all you have. We miss you.