I wanted to tell you. But the thing is, I don't want to be that girl anymore, Trevor. I'm tired of you asking "What's happening?", so passive you could be a suit of armour, and me telling you the colour of my breakfast cereal. Did you know I wrote a novel in a month? I can do better than this. I can do better than you.
What happened to make the only thing I write lately these inane updates and my Vampire Diaries fan fiction? Why do you make me feel like the only written word I have to offer the world is about whether I'm going to order a vanilla latte or a London fog? And what the hell is up with you and your obsession with following people? No longer will I pretend that I am not creeped out.
Once about a time, I was naive enough to think it was important to tell you these things, that you were listening. I've realized now that I've been talking to empty space. All this time, I've felt limited but really I've been limiting myself. My toleration is over. I won't accept another restriction on the amount of information I can express. Because I'm not confining my life to you anymore, Trevor. I'm through filling the blank white box between us, with you counting down to how much is too much. These empty characters will remain unspoken.
We're through.
1 comment:
I wasn't going to comment, because this seemed personal, but this blog almost perfectly reflects (save changes of name/fandom) what I'm seeing my close (screw it, best) friend IRL be put through. Two is enough to note. An addendum to John Green:
The Venn diagram of boys who won't date smart girls and boys you don't want to date, is a circle. The Venn diagram of obnoxious boys who like following people and boys you do not want to date, is a circle. Circles within circles, their boundaries only found when you're in the middle of them.
Speaking as an outsider, you made the right decision.
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